The One Who Inspired Me

I don't really have words to describe this.  The other day I thought about starting a blog.  Then after about half an hour said "I'm tired, no way", I am a busy man, Id rather watch football etc....Then friends happened. some of my friends came over to visit for dinner on a Sunday night.  One family that came is a Deaf family, both the people are profoundly Deaf like myself and both use ASL (American Sign Language) to communicate.  Just so you know, I can speak just fine however I use ASL receptively and can sign expressively also.  I would call my communication mode mixed.  Anyways, the other family was hearing, and can use ASL to a degree.  One of the people in the hearing family recently found out that I will have Cochlear Implants on Friday.  He is thrilled for me.  He has the crazy idea that I will be able to hear everything right after I am implanted!  On Sunday, when I told one person in the Deaf family about the scheduled surgery, that person just about fell over.  They asked if I was teasing that I would have implants.  Of course not!  Despite this they were supportive of my decision.  I then told the other deaf person, whom was not only stunned, but fired an all out barrage of attacks geared towards my decision making.  That person then went from being angry about my not being willing to be patient with teaching my (hearing children and wife ASL and enduring to the end), to being grieved about the fact that they could not have the same opportunity as myself to possibly hear again.  This person became Deaf very early in life, I am Late Deafened, meaning I became Deaf at a later age.  Generally speaking Late Deafened adults who can talk well do better with a CI than people that become Deaf early in life, but not always.  It is possible that I will actually leave the surgical room with less hearing than I entered with.  My friend also accused me of taking the "easy out".   Ughhhhhh!  That was it, the "EASY OUT" comment convinced me to blog.  I have never had an Easy Out in my life.  The persons attacks were not purposefully hurtful at all, nor did I feel hurt by them.  It was not an attempt by my friend to make me feel like a murderer, but rather it was a natural response on their part.  Some people who are Deaf feel this way, many others don't.  Many of my Deaf friends have said that I am making the right decision about going through with surgery and many are actually excited that I have the opportunity.  To say that people who are deaf are anti-Cochlea Implant is just plain wrong and would be stereotypical. I have thought deeply about my friends response over several days now and have come to the conclusion that that friend has no idea what it is like to traverse all three worlds of Deafness or to walk in my shoes. likewise I have no idea what it is like to walk in the shoes of someone that has grown up their whole lives with profound deafness.  I have decided that I must clarify to all, what it is like from my point of view to traverse these worlds of deafness and the process of going through Cochlea Implant surgery.  Maybe this blog will be something that makes a bit of difference in someones life, maybe not.  To my friend that had such a difficult time with my choice, "I love you and always will".                                 

4 Days to Countdown

What are we counting down to? Cochlear Implant Surgery.  Not just a Cochlear Implant surgery but a bi-lateral implants surgery.  That's right, I will have two implants installed, implanted, embedded, or if you prefer "slapped on my head" in just over three days time. 

Not many people are implanted both sides at the same time.  Most people I know think I am a lunatic for trying it. People say "its too much at once", "you're gonna go crazy", "your brain will not be able to handle it", and "wow".  I am an all or nothing kind of dude and always have been.  This is my personality, "lets do this and get it over with"!

Am I scared or nervous? Heck yeah!  These are the main things that I am worried about ranked in order from worst to not as bad as the worst:

• I will die on the table.
• The Doctor will drill into my brain.
• The surgery will somehow destroy my sense of balance (think semi-circular canals damage). 
• The doctor will sever a nerve causing either; loss of taste or facial droop.  I like watching cook-off shows on the Food Channel, last thing I want to do is have my family watching "Chopped", while I sit there rolling in agony because I cannot taste food anymore.  

Am I scared to lose the rest of my natural hearing, not really.  As one doctor asked me "what functional hearing do you have to lose ?!"

I have been prepared to get CI surgery 4 times before, all ended in failure to launch the surgery.  You ask, what happened?

1st Time  (1980's): Scheduled for surgery at the House Ear Institute Los Angeles when I was 13 years old.  My Mom decided at the last minute to cancel the surgery.

2nd Time:  Referred to University of San Fransisco Medical Center.  My family and I decided to move to the East Coast which essentially ended my short term affair with UCSFM.

3rd Time: All set up to do the surgery at Virginia Commonwealth University medical Center and a week and a half before surgery my insurance denied coverage.

4th Time:  (One month ago) All set to do CI surgeries on each side, 4 days apart from each other.  A week before the hospital calls and says that the Surgeon is having vision problems, and we need to reschedule.

5th Time: (Present Day) I am set to have the bi-lateral CI surgery this coming Friday at a very prestigious Medical Center.    

Call it jinxed, I don't!  Maybe a miracle!  This time the insurance company approved both implants to be done at the same time, with out even letting out a hiccup.

Its dinner time, I will report tomorrow!